Today’s post is not a list. Today it’s just me sharing my feelings and experiences.
I bet you’re so pumped, right?
I’ve been feeling really inadequate lately. Sometimes I feel like I started this blog with little to no research on how to be successful. Even though I read and watched classes on Pinterest marketing, signed up for webinars, followed Youtube channels to help me out, and subscribed to email tips, I still feel like I’m not there yet.
I guess that’s okay.
I’m still trying to figure this out! I’ve messed with my website over and over again until I got it kind of how I wanted it. Changing fonts, pictures, templates, menus, blah blah blah!
You probably noticed my random changes since every time you’ve visited, something is new or improved. That’s because I’m still learning how this crazy blogging thing works! Think of it like a game where you have to find every new tweak I make.
Blogging is WAY more time and effort than I had anticipated. But I still LOVE IT!
I guess what I’m saying is that I don’t feel like I was prepared for everything that blogging is. Facebook pages, upgrading Pinterest to a BUSINESS account, watching analytics, putting together a website, gathering email subscribers, posting on social media all the time (I didn’t even have social media before this blog) , and more items on my to-do list that I won’t bore you with!
Honestly, writing is the easy part!
Writing has always been something I LOVED to do. Poems, research papers, persuasive essays, fiction, creative writing, and now blog posts! I love it all.
My writing is probably the only asset I have going for me right now.
Some of you have told me that you love the way that I write. Well, the only reason I can write so well is because of an English teacher that taught me the art of writing for four years. He’s my favorite teacher of all time.
Mr. Ryan Birsinger.
In fifth grade, this guy would stay after school and torture (I mean tutor) me for a writing competition.
“I thought he was your favorite???”
He wasn’t at first! He used to stand at the chalk board and mess with my head. What he was trying to do was make me think! I remember putting my head on the desk and saying “You’re giving me a head ache!” I don’t remember exactly what we were talking about, but I’m sure it was something complicated.
This guy was so picky.
Numbers had to be spelled out. Exordiums had to be intriguing (exordium is nerd speak for the first couple sentences in a paper). My outline had to be able to win the a nobel prize. Writing in the first person was strictly forbidden. Heaven help me if there were spelling or grammar errors. I wasn’t even allowed to use contractions!
“You’re” had to be “you are”.
“Don’t” had to be “do not”
Heaven forbid I use the word “can’t”.
At the time, I thought these rules were insane. I thought Mr. Birsinger was insane. Most of all, I thought I was pretty inadequate for this writing competition.
Finally it came down to competition day. Nervous as a turkey on Thanksgiving, I went into the writing room. I came out just as nervous as I went in. There was no way in my mind that I was going to be able to beat anybody at writing. Not with my bad habit of using contractions. Mr. B had tried to beat that out of me.
Thankfully, I was dead wrong. I got first place.
I guess the point of all this is that feeling inadequate can be a good thing. I worked my tail off after school with Mr. Birsinger day after day. I wrote outline after outline. First draft, second draft, and sometimes (if he was feeling savage) THIRD DRAFT.
But then the final draft came out a masterpiece.
When we don’t feel prepared for something, we tend to work harder. I developed a motivation for becoming a better writer that has not (no contractions!) left me to this day. I love to write and now I can write well.
All thanks be to Mr. Ryan Birsinger for not letting me quit. He put in hours, upon hours, trying to teach me how to kick the competition in the teeth. Showing me the art of the amplification, teaching me how to articulate thoughts in an organized fashion, and believing that I could win!
And he succeeded!
Ultimately I ended up going to state twice. We won’t talk about how I wrote my name on that stupid paper and ended up getting last place even though the judges told me straight out that it was a first prize creative writing essay…. Sorry Mr. B… That still haunts me to this day!
(For those who are not nerdy writing competitors, you are assigned a number and you are NOT supposed to write your name on the paper. I accidentally did because you get points off for not having your name on your paper on school assignments… Oops.)
So to Mr. Birsinger, if you are reading this, thank you. You are the bomb. You are number one and a one in a million teacher. I am so glad to have been your student for four years. (Does that look good? I did not use any contractions for that one paragraph in your honor!)
Bottom line, if you feel inadequate today, remember that God uses us best in our weakness.
1 Corinthians 12:10 KJV ” Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then I am strong.”
Keep working hard, studying, and training. You will get it figured out eventually and so will I. Pray for me!
Feeling inadequate is a good thing.