Y’all, I have failed.
I do not have a recommendation for What You Want Wednesday.
F-A-I-L What does that spell! Fail!
Guess you’ll have to deal with whatever I want to write about. Oops. In my defense… There is no defense.
Today I want to talk about 4 ways to be a better Christian friend without sounding preachy or “holier than thou”. It can be tricky to share the truth without cramming it down people’s throats!
If I had to guess, I’d say that’s the number one reason why Christians don’t witness.
Here are 4 tips for witnessing to your lost buddies.
#1 Don’t preach at them
That’s called being annoying. Avoid this at all costs. Please.
Annoying people ruin friendships. You can come off as extremely judgemental and “holier than thou”. It’s better to advise when asked for an opinion, than to shove your opinion (right or wrong) down someone’s throat all the time.
I get it though. Christians have strong opinions. Christians want to spread God’s word and see others come to Christ and do the same. But the fact of the matter is, no one wants to become like a person they find to be annoying or high and mighty.
#2 Ask your friend if they want to do a bible study with you.
This one scares people.
“What if my non-christian friend thinks I’m a weirdo?”
“What if they think I’m trying to convert them instead of be their friend?”
“What if they say no??”
All valid fears.
Ask yourself the question, “How badly do I want this person to come to Christ?” You want this person to be saved and follow Jesus? You better do all you can in love to bring them to the Cross. A bible study is a great way to do this.
And even if they say no, you don’t have to worry about it. If that person thinks you’re weird, they weren’t a very good friend anyways. The world is going to see you as different and that’s NOT a bad thing!
If they say no thanks, you did what you were supposed to do. You can’t control them or make the decision to follow God for them. But you CAN witness to them and give them opportunities.
Keep being a good example to them and go above and beyond. Be there for them when they are going through something hard. Make an effort to go to any performance or game they might have. Just hang out with them and be a real friend. Show them that because of Jesus Christ, you’re different than their lost friends. This is how I won my first soul, and one of my best friends, to the Lord.
Be an example of true friendship, unconditional love, and morality.
#3 Pray for them and pray with them
Most people, if you ask to pray with them, they will be happy to let you! It’s a great way to show your friend you really care, while also sending up a petition for them.
People HIGHLY underestimate the power of prayer. Including me! Make the decision, like I did, to pray without ceasing for your friends. Especially for lost friends! Don’t be afraid to pray with someone. It doesn’t matter if you fumble your words. When you’re praying, you’re talking to God.
“What do I say in my prayer if I’m praying in front of my friend??”
Valid question. Lets start with what NOT to say.
A. “Lord I want to pray for my friend right now. I pray that you’ll drive the sin out of his life and bring him to his knees before You in tears of repentance! Lord show him how ugly his sin is and how miserable he is without You in his dark life! Amen Jesus!”
That’s going to be a MAJOR NO NO. That prayer is okay for you to say in private if you’d like, but when you’re praying with your friend, they may get the idea that you think their a terrible person or that you’re judgemental. That’s not the idea we’re going for. Yes, your friend should realize he’s a sinner (That’s step one for salvation) but you dwelling on that in your prayer with him is a little inappropriate.
All you need to say is something like this,
B. “Lord I want to pray for my friend right now. Lord please bless them *insert specific need here* and help them with what they’re struggling with. Lord help me to be a good friend to So-and-So. Thank you Lord for putting this person in my life, they are such a blessing to me. Amen.”
You can also pray with them at meal times regularly. This is a good witness and you were going to pray for your food anyways, right? Why not invite them to bow with you?
you should keep the prayer short and sweet and not super negative. Introduce God to them in a positive light. They’ve heard enough so-called “Christians” in the media telling them they are sinners and God hates them. Be the friend that leads them to God through love. Yes, say the truth, but do it IN LOVE!
#4 BE REAL
If you’re not being real with someone, they will never ever want to be what you are.
Admit your struggles to them! Admit your flaws to them! Show them that you’re not an hypocritical, holier than thou saint that never messes up and has life figured out. Be vulnerable. You’re a hot mess, make sure they know it! And make sure they can see God changing you and cleaning up the mess.
Admit your struggles and admit your victories as well! Tell them how you were struggling with something but God helped you through it. Your testimony is your biggest asset.
Don’t forget that.
Lost people tend to see the church as a group of people who think they’re perfect and have life figured out. Show them that the reason you need God is because you AREN’T perfect. You’re His masterpiece that he’s still chiseling at. Don’t ever let someone think you’re perfect or pretending to be.
- Don’t preach at them!
- Ask about having a bible study.
- Pray with them and for them.
- Be real!
Hope you find these helpful! Every Christian comes into contact with lost people and makes friends with them. I hope you can use these 4 ways to be a better Christian witness to your friends without feeling awkward or preachy.