How To Not Be A Jerk- A Bible Study On Joy

Have you ever encountered someone who ruined your day? Someone that just has it out for everyone around them and with no apparent cause? Are you that person? Maybe your friend, sibling, or coworker is one of those people. Perhaps you, yes you, have had your moment when you’ve earned that dreaded title. Jerk.

Why on earth would someone be a jerk?

There are all kinds of reasons that someone might be a jerk. Maybe they have family issues at home. Maybe money is tight. Maybe the salsa on their breakfast taco this morning was too spicy. You don’t know people. Everyone has a unique story and a unique sensitivity to spicy food.

Here is the two step recipe to avoid the title “jerk” today, tomorrow, and forever.

1. ADMIT that you are at least occasionally a jerk and then DON’T be one.

2. Make an EFFORT to be a JOY.

If you’ll do those two things, you will have a much easier life…. and so will the people around you. Let’s get into more detail.

First step!

Admit that you are at least occasionally a jerk. Then don’t be one. Basic right? Well…. not for everyone. Human nature calls us to be a jerk. We’ve all inherited a sin nature from Adam and Eve. We’re born sinners.


Romans 3:23 KJV “For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.”


Romans 5:12 KJV “Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for all have sinned.


Our first inclination in the midst of a problem is to get moody. When we get moody, our common courtesy tends to be put on the back burner. We’re irritated, therefore the whole world must be out to get us. Our sensitivity is heightened to the point where even the people we love become the bane of our existence.

What does the Bible say about my mood?

Proverbs 16:32 KJV “He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.”


Proverbs 12:16 KJV “A fool’s wrath is presently known: but a prudent man covereth shame.”


Proverbs 25:28 KJV “He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.”

We all have issues with being a jerk from time to time. If we say we have no sin, we are lying and the truth is not in us. To throw in a clichè, be the change you want to see in the world. Only God can help us to override human nature. Maybe it’s time we admit we need His help. As long as we can admit we are part of the problem and only God can help us, we can move forward to the next step.

Second step!

Make an effort to be a joy! You can’t just stop being a jerk. Now that you’ve admitted that you, yes you, have jerky inclinations, you need to replace that with joy. Take out the bad stuff and replace it with the good.

Maybe you’re used to calling out other drivers. I sure tend to talk to the vehicles around me. But is what I’m saying coming from a place of joy? Not if they cut me off! Not if they’re changing lanes into me! Not if they pull out of a driveway at me!

Chances are, the people that do that to you are NOT murderous drivers looking to take you out with one swift stroke of the gas pedal. It’s okay to be concerned for your safety and honk for your life if you’re in danger. Just don’t let that ruin your day. Maybe they didn’t see you, maybe they’re in a hurry, maybe they sneezed. Be understanding.

Be the kind of person that makes people smile. Hold the door for people, buy someone’s groceries, leave tracts around town, let people into your lane, say thank you when others show you kindness, and SMILE. Make their day in a positive way instead of snipping, snapping, and making snarky comments. You want a happy world? Be the change.

What does the Bible say about joy?

Romans 15:13 KJV “May the God of all hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.”

Galatians 5:22 KJV “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith….”

Proverbs 17:22 KJV “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.”

No one deserves your bad attitude. They have their own issues without having to listen to your sorry outlook on life. Quit drying people’s bones and start being the medicine that soothes hurting hearts. The Great Physician prescribed YOU!

Being a jerk doesn’t just hurt the people around you, it’s hurts YOU too. Why ya hittin’ yourself? You reap what you sow. If you sow jerky seeds, you get treated like a jerk. No one wants to be friends with someone who is always negative and moody. Choose joy in your problems. You’re going to encounter irritation. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, right? It’s up to you about what you do with it.

Jerk or joy?

Seek Adventure!

Ashley Tackett

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