You clicking on the post- “Wait, did I read that title right? Surely you believe modest is hottest, right? Ashley, you’re a conservative, of course modest is hottest!”
Yes, I’m conservative. No, modest is not hottest. But before you panic, wait! Read until the end.
Y’all know I’m a Christian girl. Because of this fact, I dress modestly. I enjoy the challenge of walking into a store, taking the rags and strips of cloth they call clothes, and turning them into something modest and appropriate. It’s like a game! Mix and match. Dressing modest doesn’t mean I’m dressing like a grandma! I love the satisfaction of making an outfit cute AND modest, even though it started out looking less than lovely.
The reason I dress modestly is to, first and foremost, honor God. I don’t do it just because of men’s lusts. I do it for my God. But a blessed by-product of that is helping out the men in my life and not being a stumbling block to them. This is so important that we do it for the right reason. Do it for Christ, not only for men.
Ask yourself these questions: What exactly am I trying to achieve when I get dressed in the morning? Am I trying to get boys to notice me? Am I trying to be more popular? Am I hoping people will compliment my looks? If any of your answers were yes, then I don’t care how much you’re dressed, you’re not being modest.
Modesty starts in your heart! It’s not just how covered up you are or how little skin you allow to be seen. It’s also a mindset. I want my personality to be modest as well. This means I don’t want to be raunchy, flirty, obnoxious, or forward in the way I act around guys. Or anyone else!
I dress modestly because I want to be respected for my personality, spirituality, and intelligence, not my body. Girls complain all the time about being treated like an object, but then they dress like an object! Ladies, dress the way you want to be perceived. Taking off more clothes isn’t female empowerment. It’s only attracting the wrong kind of guys. Girls want steady relationships, true love and all that, but then they dress like prostitutes and “easy” girls. I don’t care how cute you look, the reality of the situation is that there are creepers out there that are not looking at your cute outfit. They’re looking at your body.
I heard a quote once that went something like this, “Dear girls, dressing immodestly is like rolling in manure. Yes, you’ll get attention, but mostly from pigs!” – Unknown
Now I want to make something very clear. Women are not held responsible for the wrong thoughts of men. Women ARE held responsible for the way they put themselves out there to be seen by men. Some men will lust after you even if you are dressed head to toe in a potato sack, and you are NOT responsible for that. But the way we dress is something we are held accountable to God for. You’re responsible for yourself and your own choices.
The Bible says that whoever looks at a woman and lusts after her, he has already committed adultery WITH her in his heart (Matthew 5:27-28). This puts some responsibility on us girls. Not responsibility for the man’s thoughts, but responsibility to make sure we are not dressed to allure men. If you are dressed modestly, you are not held responsible because you have not sinned. You are responsible for YOU.
Think of it this way: There are two kids and a forbidden cookie jar. One kid really wants a cookie. The other kid takes a cookie and dangles it in front of the other kid’s face. The greedy kid wants that cookie so bad that he thinks about stealing it. The kid who offered it to the greedy kid is not responsible for the thoughts of the aforementioned greedy kid. But that kid IS responsible for flaunting and tempting the hungry kid. If the greedy child had thought of stealing the cookie unprovoked, then the other child would be perfectly innocent. But in this scenario, the child was tempting the glutton.
That’s the way it works with modesty. We aren’t responsible for what the men think, but we are responsible for how we put ourselves out there to be seen.
So no, modest isn’t hottest because we aren’t looking to be the hottest girls in the room. I don’t know about you, but I’d MUCH rather be called beautiful than hot. Find a guy who knows more adjectives than “hot, sexy, and cute”. For real. Find a man, not a boy.
Are we flaunting ourselves for men’s attention? Are we trying to be hottest, or modest? Girls! Let us not be so desperate as to hope men will love us for our looks! We are so much more than our outward appearance! Your body and outfit is not your self worth! Your body is to be saved for your husband, so quit giving sneak peaks to other men who don’t love you! Dress modestly so that someday you attract a man that loves you for your personality, intelligence, and inward beauty. Your body will wrinkle and get old, but you’ll always be happy with someone who loves you for your heart and soul.